He's Got a Ticket to Drive
by Brizy B. Darling
Summary: A selection of short stories about Max teaching Jude to drive.
1. Chapter 1

**Jude gripped the wheel tightly. "Well I've driven some things at home..." A bicycle. "We couldn't afford a car, and mostly we all walked places at home, there was no need to learn how to... er, y'know... drive."**

**Max put a hand on Jude's tense arm. "Well first off, you need to stop freaking out first. Wanna smoke a bit before you start?"**

**"That really doesn't seem like a good idea," Jude said with a hint of panic in his voice.**

**Max laughed, "I was joking man, joking. Sheesh. You're going to want to start by turning the key.'**

**Jude turned the key which jerked into life. Max smiled encouraginly. "Okay, now you're going to lightly press AHH!"**

**The car zoomed forward and then jerked to a quick stop. Max gripped the door handle trying not to fly through the windshield. "G-good start," Max said in a voice two octaves higher than normal.**

**Jude breathed heavy, his knuckles white on the wheel. He turned towards Max in sudden jubilance. "Hey, hey I did it!"**

"**Yes, well…" Max couldn't disappoint Jude when he was grinning like that. "Yeah, you did. Let's, er, try again… But try not to press down so hard this time…"**

**With a slow jerk, Jude began driving down the street for the first time.**


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, Jude was finally able to drive around in Max's taxi more comfortably. Perhaps a little more comfortable than Max really preferred.

"Signal, SIGNAL," Max commanded as Jude went to take a slightly reckless left. "Jude, you will be the death of me!" He moaned. 

"Come on," Jude shrugged. "I did signal, I just didn't signal 400 meters before the turn like yeh keep suggesting. Yeh hardly ever use yer turn signals at all, I don't know what yer getting on _me_ for."

"Yes, well, the rules don't apply to me who is a good driver. They apply to you who is _not _a good driver. Trust me, the people around you need all the warning they can get. BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL."

Jude replaced his left hand onto the wheel again. "After I pass me driver's test, I'm buying me own car. I don't think I could handle having yeh always riding with me."

"Yeah, well, I don't think I could handle always riding with you either. I thought war took years off my life…"


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Guess I didn't put one of these the first chapters. Well, I'm too lazy to edit, so you get it now. As if it wasn't obvious enough I don't own these characters, I'll make it clear. I don't own these characters.**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am not that smart a person. I don't know if Jude would have more than a passport, whatever. Let's just focus on the story and not the semantics. **

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A few weeks later and Max was able to ride in the car with Jude without fearing for his life. "Hey Jude," he smiled. "I think you've really gotten the hang of this."

Jude allowed a hand to come off the wheel and rested it on the window. For once, Max didn't yelp for it to be put back on. "Thanks, mate. I've been taking it out for extra practice runs while you were sleeping."

"You WHAT?" Max's brows flew up.

"Nahh, just wanted to see yer face."

"Jude, you'd better be very glad you're driving my car which I don't want to see damaged. Otherwise I'd be damaging you right now."

Jude chuckled, as he pulled to a stop at a red light. He looked behind him and suddenly the humor fell from his face. "Max," his voice had dropped to a whisper. "There's a bobby, right behind us."

"A what?" Max allowed a glance behind. "Ohhh, the police…. Shit, Jude, you have a permit?"

"No."

"Then double-shit."

"Why double?"

"Because of what I have under my seat right now."

"What does that have to…. Ohhh… Yeah, yer right, man. Double-shit."

Max forced himself to breathe deep. "It's fine, man, we're cool. We're not intoxicated, for once, and you're doing well with your driving. He has no reason at all to…"

The siren gave a small blare indicating to Jude to pull over. Jude looked over at Max with resignation in his face and pulled off the side of the road.

The police man pulled over behind them and came out of the car and over to Jude's window, which was already rolled down. "Hey, there, any idea why I pulled you over?"

Jude knew better than to come up with a reason. Don't incriminate yourself for something they don't know you've even done. "Ahh, no, sir."

The officer paused with a long look at Jude, then shook his head to continue. "Your license plate is expired. Last month you were due for a new one."

"Ah shi…oot." Max hit his knee. "I knew I was forgetting something. I thought I just needed to get the oil changed."

The officer looked over at him. "Is this your car?"

Max gave him a smile filled with his best charm. "Yes, sir, I was just showing my friend here how to drive. But I'll get it taken care of as soon as I can, sir, it's just that you know, being a war veteran and all…" He trailed off, not knowing what being a war veteran had to do with anything but knew it had gotten him out of situations before.

"I'm still going to have to write a ticket for it. And can I get both of your licenses please? Permit in your case."

Jude grimaced. "Well… I don't as much… I can… I left it at home."

The officer gave him a look that said _You're not fooling me. _"Can I get an identification at least?"

Jude grimly reached into the back of the taxi where his passport had been discarded since his trip back again. "Will this do?"

The officer wordlessly took it into his hands and opened it. His eyes went wide as he read the information. "Jude Pheeney? _You're _Jude Pheeney?"

There was a moment of silence where Max and Jude stared at each other. Finally Max spoke up, "Yeah, he is. But since when has that been special."

Jude shot him a glare then went back to the confused officer. "I am."

The officer laughed and closed the passport. "That's why you're so familiar! I went to a gallery, you're art was up! I even bought a piece of yours! There was a picture of you up, but you're hair… it was shorter or something. I can't believe I've really met you."

Jude smiled an uncomfortable smile. "Oh, well, that's nice…. Er, thank you."

"Hey, could I get an autograph? My wife just loves the piece you did."

Jude took the pen into his hand and signed upon the officer's little notepad that he had pushed forward. "Oh, okay. I mean, thank you."

"This is fantastic. Hey," The officer leaned off the window. "Because you did that for me, I'm going to let you guys off with a warning. But make sure you get it taken care of, okay?"

Jude and Max both nodded adamantly not even daring to look at each lest the crack up laughing or blurt out something they shouldn't. Max's whole mind was screaming about what was under the seat, but he just grinned widely at the man as Jude put the car back into drive and took off again towards Café Huh. As soon as they pulled back onto the street, and away from the officer, did they begin to laugh. 

Jude had to pull over again, just because he was pulsing with laughter and wasn't sure if he could make it home safely in this condition. 

"What the hell was that?" Max asked between breaths.

"I don't know man," Jude replied, wiping away tears. "I don't know."

"Well come on, Jude, artist, police wooer extraordinaire. Why don't we get back and take care of this little secret under the seat."

Jude took a couple of steadying breaths. "Yeah, all right. Let's." 


End file.
